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I'm with PJ, those Double Action Only semi's can be tireing to shoot unless you have lots of hours behind them. They have a long, usually heavy trigger stroke that leads to fatigue. And once fatigued, as you painfully found out, concentration on your hold gets difficult. Single action 1911's or guns like the Para LDA's would probebly be a better choice in your case. These can be had in 9mm and recoil should not be a problem. Look into some of the shooting gloves and wrist supports on the market, they should improve your shooting and more importantly, increase your enjoyment!!
Wouldn't hurt to look into revolvers either...something in a 6" barrel .38 special or one of the Ruger single actions in a .32 H&R mag or .357 which would allow you to shoot .38 special and work up to .357 mag if you ever felt the need. Double Action revolvers and Single Action revolvers all recoil a bit different due to grip design so if you can find a place to rent guns or find some friends with both types in calibers you are interested in, I'd recommend shooting both before making a purchase.
You will not regret putting in the effort needed to come up with a gun ortwo that fits your needs......a day at the range shooting handguns is just to much fun to mis out on!
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