[TheeBadOne]

Actual newspaper headlines (collected by journalists)

- Something Went Wrong In Jet Crash, Expert Says
- Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers
- Saftey Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Drunk Gets Nine Months In Violin Case
- Farmer Bill Dies In House
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Is There A Ring Of Debris Around Uranus?
- Stud Tires Out
- Prostitutes Appeal To Pope
- Panda Mating Fails: Veterinarian Takes Over
- Soviet Virgin Lands Short Of Goal Again
- Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
- Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
- Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
- Plane Too Close To Ground, Crash Probe Told
- Miners Refuse to Work After Death
- Juvenile Court To Try Shooting Defendant
- Stolen Painting Found By Tree
- Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
- War Dims Hope For Peace
- If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
- Cold Wave Linked To Temperatures
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
- Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- Astronaut Takes Blame For Gas In Spacecraft
- Steals Clock, Faces Time
- Bank Drive-In Window Blocked By Board
- Some Pieces Of Rock Hudson Sold At Auction
- Mice to be bombed - Today;
- Mobile phone threat to universe;
- Swedish jet hijacked by bread roll - Int Herald Trib;
- Husband bites wife's 'thing' - The Monitor (Uganda);
- Physicist recommends bigger balls to slow down male tennis players - Guardian
- Ferries must stay afloat in worst of storms, say safety engineers - Guardian
- Armageddon could threaten United's Promotion push - West Cumbria News & Star;
- Children's Stool Great for Use in Garden
- Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
- New Missouri U. Chancellor Expects Little Sex
- Deer Kill 130,000
- Complaints About NBA Referees Growing Ugly
- Killer sentenced to die for second time in 10 years
- Drunken drivers paid $1000 in '84
- Two cars were reported stolen by the Groveton police yesterday.
- Sneak Attack by Soviet Bloc Not Foreseen --The Atlanta Journal 4/4/79
- Blue Skies Unless its Cloudy --San Francisco Chronicle 5/29/??
- Lack Of Water Hurts Ice Fishing
- Yellow Snow Tested For Nutrition
- Gas Smell Diverts Flight, But It Was Just Passengers Pants
- Cookies With Condoms Fail Family Taste-Test
- Condom Firm Streches Product Line
- Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
- Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
- Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
- Milk drinkers are turning to powder
- Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
- Organ festival ends in smashing climax
- Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
- Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
- Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
- Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
- Child's death ruins couple's holiday
- Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
- Man is fatally slain
- Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
- Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
- British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
- New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
- Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
- Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
- Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
- Include your Children when Baking Cookies