Is your wife a reloader? If not, why's she poking around your reloading set-up?
My wife woulkd be pissed as hell if I 'cleaned up' her sewing machine or artsy crafts.
To answer your question, go with the heavier 180 grn bullets since the .35R only operates at a medium [max] velocity. I've never reloaded for the .35R, but Speer makes a really nice 180 and 220 pointed flat-point bullets in that caliber. Keep in mind that some .358 bullets are designed more for the .35 Whelen or .358 Win than the .35 Rem. After carefully looking at the Speer bullets I'd also consider the Hornady 180 SSP and 200 grn RN.
Nosler makes a .358 caliber 180 grn Partition, too.