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I would like to suggest that size has almost nothing to do with the ability to handle recoil. Experience is the only thing that matters.
It is far better to train someone to shoot and then get a gun suitable for the game being hunted than to try to accomodate an inexperienced shooter to a barely adequate cartridge. If you are going to hunt elk, you need an elk rifle. The .243 is not one in my opinion....... certainly adequate for deer, but not a good choice at all for elk.
Start training with a .22 to learn proper gun technique. Move up in power slowly so technique will not suffer due to noise and recoil. Shoot lots. When your son can shoot an elk rifle accurately (.270 as a solid minimum), then you can get him a versatile rifle and he can hunt elk.
A .243 for elk is an "experts only" cartridge in my opinion. Not likely any 12 year old should be placed in such a position. If a .243 is the point to which his experience limits him, hunt deer for a year or two. then trade it off on a more powerful "all round" cartridge.
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