I had to chuckle about Sgt. Gass. Reminds me of a joke I once heard.
A little boy was with his grandpa at the mall and they became separated. The boy saw a security officer and told him of his plight.
The security officer said he'd help. He asked the boy "whats he like". The boy in all childhood innocence said " Jack Daniels and women with big boobs."
Best wishes, Bill