Your suggestions please...

[MarkL]

For self-defense, the caliber and type of gun are MUCH less important than

1) Having a gun.
2) Having a reliable gun.

If you get into a gunfight without a gun or with a gun that doesn't work, you will lose. In other words, a gun that's small enough to actually carry is far better than one that's so big you end up leaving it at home.

With premium ammunition, I really don't think there's much difference in effectiveness between a .40 and 9mm. Some, but not enough to justify getting a gun that's too big to carry or doesn't fit your hand. A 9mm you can shoot well is better than a .40 you can't. A hit with a 9mm is better than a thousand misses with a .40.

In my experience, actually carrying a concealed gun takes some practice and "getting used to". It's somewhat uncomfortable and you constantly worry if people can tell you're carrying. After a while, you get used to the discomfort, like getting eyeglasses or new shoes. You also realize people just aren't that observant.

When I began carrying a gun, I was dissatisfied with the first carry gun I bought. Basically, I didn't like the safety system. It was a single-action auto. I was uncomfortable with idea of carrying it "cocked and locked" because it might become "unlocked" (off safe) when I didn't want it to, and I realized that I might have trouble taking the safety off in a high-stress situation. I ended up buying a compact double-action 9mm that I carry off-safe.

I already had some full-sized guns, but I could not figure out a good practical way to carry one, unless I could remain standing at all times or wear a jacket at all times.

The smaller a gun is, the better it is for CCW, but it's less fun to shoot. Are you REALLY going to carry it, or mostly shoot it for fun a lot and keep it handy at home?